Overcoming Shame

My cousin’s wife, Kelley Johns, who is a counselor at Light of the Rockies, once told me that “shame is when we take on failure as our identity rather than just experiencing temporary guilt for a mistake we have made. Instead of saying, “What I did was bad”, it is saying, “I am bad”. Instead of saying, “What I did was a mistake”, it is saying, “I am a mistake”.

Shame is crippling because it takes over our whole identity. It infiltrates our thoughts, and in turn, our emotions, behaviors, relationships, and our whole life as we know it.  

Shame is evil and is not from God. It is a tool of the enemy that is used to trap people in their past, living always in their worst mistakes and failures.

But God did not intend for us to live in shame. He sent Jesus to set us free from shame, sin, and death. He gave us a new identity through His grace. Instead of identifying by our past failures, we can identify through the grace of God.

When you learn the truth about who Christ says you are, it changes everything.

Five years ago, I was living in the darkness and captivity of shame and depression. I thought that I was a failure and mistake because of my past. But then Jesus met me in a powerful way. He freed me from the lies of Satan that were holding me captive to believe that I would always be my mistakes. Jesus said that through Christ, I am a new creation (2nd Corinthians 5:17). He said that when I repent and confess my sins, He is faithful to forgive me of my sins (1 John 1:9). He said that He has removed my sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). He said that I am not saved by my performance (thank God!), but rather through His grace. It is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8-9).

I will never forget the day I fell onto my knees with a broken heart and gave my life back to God. I knew I could no longer live my life on my own because it was leading me down a path of brokenness and despair. In that very moment, God met me with love, kindness, and acceptance. He pulled me out of the pit of shame and called me by my name. He told me that I was forgiven, loved, and accepted in him. He said I was a new creation. His love changed the entire trajectory and future of my life.

After some dark days in my past, I can tell you today that God is faithful. He can turn your whole life around when you give Him your heart. And when you learn the truth of who you are in Christ, the truth will set you free (John 8:32).

I made the choice to stop living in shame and defeat and rather believe the truth that Christ spoke over my life. Since then, my whole life has changed. I no longer identify as a failure, but as a daughter of God who is forgiven, loved, and accepted. I am free through Christ Jesus. There are no chains on me because Christ forgave me.

And not only did He just forgive me, but He called me into a new life in Him. A life where I can make good choices and be who He called me to be. Nothing, not even my past, can stand in the way.

So breathe the fresh air of redemption. A new day awaits. There is hope. There is love. There is forgiveness. There is light. You are free to be who Christ says you are in Him. Full stop. No questions. You can “check your shame at the door, because it’s not welcome anymore, you’re in the Father’s house (Cory Asbury: “Father’s House”).”

Here are some of the Bible verses that helped me overcome shame and learn who I am in Christ.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

- 1 John 1:9

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

- 2nd Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.”

- Romans 8:1-2

“But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.””

- Isaiah 43:1

"For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.…"

- Ephesians 2:8-9

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

- Psalm 103:12

 "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

- Jeremiah 31:3